I just adore my own company. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?". I don't want to give off the wrong impression.". Use sarcasm to let them know that you do not approve. The person who told you to be yourself gave you some bad advice. Sure, we all have things to do, but when someone takes two days to reply, that is a sign that they are the problem. If your crush asks you how you are, you might as well be honest. If your best friends are worrying about you due to your new break up, this one you can use to make them feel relaxed. Maybe this person really likes you, and they have a heart condition. What's your sign? I am high-quality, 100% plant-fed. Yes, believe it or not, it really does happen. And maybe thats the reason why theyre taking so long to reply. Dont wake me up yet. 2. My day was fine, it was everything else that was the problem. 66. 26. 51 Funny and Flirty Responses to "How Are You" Texts Suppose you're about to join a group when they stop by and ask if you want to join. I dont follow boys/girls because theyre not my passion. Another excuse that people use is Im just hoping in the shower. And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! Ive had worse. Do I look like someone whos into cheesy things like romantic relationships?! With a self-assured stance and casual body language, you won't create any . Tell them to stop being nosy and avoid answering. I havent found anyone who matches my kinks yet. Steven Wright (comedian). Taco Tuesday is pressure enough, I tell you! funny response to are you still alive. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Are You Still Alive animated GIFs to your conversations. 5. 10. Want to equip yourself with more responses? Maybe the reply is just taking a long time to come back. Some of us are just destined to walk this world alone. Someone took their costume way too seriously. 7. funny response to are you still alive - claudiovoiceovers.com Socioeconomically? Id love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. Tom Lehrer - Wikipedia 32. How To Answer "Why Are You Single?": 33 Ideas - Elite Daily Theres this one time when a cute guy/gal asked me if I have a boyfriend/girlfriend and I said yes because I didnt hear the question. Don't Push It Too Far. Physically? I cant afford to die; Id lose too much money. George Burns (comedian), I do not fear death. They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. "I'll get back to you once I'm back from my long-awaited trip to the fridge.". This one gets to the point of what they want to know, it's humorous, and it makes ya think. Its better to be single with high standards than be in a relationship settling for less. 9. Voice command: Alexa, I am your father. I'm so sorry I expected you to acknowledge my existence after hanging out? 65+ Funny Responses to Everyday Questions! - Self Development Journey You enjoy making this girl smile and make her day with your humor. Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. ", This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. I died last week, since then. 60 of the Most Savage Responses People Received From Their Exes Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. Congrats, guys! Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. Youre totally on the same page. Youre a ground-hugger. I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. Are you going to help me have a good day? 55+ Coronavirus Memes Funny Coronavirus Memes - Parade: Entertainment 15. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. This means that when they get super excited, it can cause their heart to beat too fast, which causes death. 9. If you want, Ill give you a discount, baby. Thomas Andrew Lehrer (/ l r r /; born April 9, 1928) is an American musician, singer-songwriter, satirist, and mathematician, who later taught mathematics and musical theater.He recorded pithy and humorous songs that became popular in the 1950s and 1960s. Which one you use would depend on particular circumstances, but in the example you gave, I think "still alive" probably works best. 96. We found the best coronavirus memes about social distancing, toilet paper, homeschooling, as well as ways to spread a little more kindness. I will leave that up to your imagination. Whether its the Roman empire or feudal society. Its good to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. I had promised myself I would murder the next person who asked me that question. Because a single-storey is much more economical than a double-storey. How are you? could be much more than a basic question, but we tend to stick to the same old, half-hearted responses. Every civilisation has its genesis and its conclusion. So, it might be wise to double-check they're still alive before you complain. 82. When you're mad, but don't want to ruin your impression, this is a nice way to reply to your crush or match. As for me, I cant even afford honey! #19: Bumble comeback The best comeback text yet. (bonus points to you if you sing it). Truth is, we all have ugly experiences with our past lovers. I love you. While I'd love to give you the technique behind his funny comeback I can't. He may simply be one of the quickest minds in the West. Are you going to marry me? [*clap your hands*]. It is a common belief that auto-responses are monotonous and boring. This is one of those worst epic responses to I love you makes us feel for the poor love-struck fellow. 10. You could reply with how you are doing and what has been keeping you busy lately. Could be payday. Because they are already taking their time. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. You'll love these 67+ Sarcastic Instagram Captions for couples, friends Perfect for that BRB, shower text that they never BRBd to. (Wriggle your hips) I am as happy as a tick on a big, fat doggy. Youre supposed to think that theyre so busy being cool that they dont have time for you. Im glad that I sleep so peacefully, knowing that Im single and aint nobody cheating on me tonight. My guardian angel be like 2. If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. 69. Patrick Moore (astronomer), "Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote' so that on my deathbed, my last words could be 'end quote.'" 3. In reality, they are not cool, they are just rude. Stop joking! See more ideas about maxine, bones funny, funny quotes. He was a good OP, of impeccable character. You don't want to be rude, but it's okay to give them a little sarcasm by using this phrase. Hey, whered you get that nose? 35. Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. 75 Witty and Funny Responses to "How Are You?" - Box of Puns On Mars, cell phone reception might not be too good. 87. 64. If someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel much longer than it is. There might be little things that go wrong throughout your life, but at least you're still living it. I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. Id punch you in the face, but the thought of touching your face disgusts me. but that was before I read Fred's comment below. Alexa's response: I'm sorry, Dave. So, you changed your mind? No, they're prison pants. via: Pexels / George Pak. My favorites were: "I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my toenails." "I'd rather be in hell with both arms cut off." He was an angry, creative man. 2. It depends on what or who I compare myself to. 43. In the past, one way to send messages was to attach them to a pigeon. If you've been stuck inside doing chores and homework all day, and your parents ask you how you are, what response do they expect? Who knows, maybe you can steer a conversation in a more intriguing path. 1. You have an old soul. I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. - Anonymous. Like are you asking because you really wanna hear whats up?. Yup, I dont share it. Better than most, but maybe not as well as others. What? Youre not as bad as everyone says. Thats because I get about as much attention as a white crayon. Great, but I should warn you that I am totally biased. 34 Best Responses To Late Replies (While Texting) 80. 38. Looking for funny responses to everyday questions? How to answer when someone asks me, "Are you still alive - Quora 28 Witty Responses To Ghosting That'll Haunt Them Forever - Bustle But it can be funny. You'll be asked how you are almost every single day, which is why you should add some humor to your answers. Don Draper? Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. Virginia Woolf (author), "When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction." You sure have a bodacious rackfor a guy. "I'm alright, mate". What is the most creative reply to, are you still alive? 85. 48. If there is just one valid reason for someone not replying to you, that reason would be their death. Someday, you might actually say something intelligent. 18. There is not always a need to be so funny, witty, or clever. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. In My Phone or On My Phone Which is Correct? However, I dont recall anything about morons. If you are in a coma, then that is a valid excuse for not texting back. What do you say when people ask you that? If you want me to accept you as you are, Im going to have to lie to myself about liking you. I'm alive! She works wit more, Harini Natarajan , Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Expertise: Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty more. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. To answer that question, I need to take you back about 12 years. No one loves superheroes. Life is up to something. Are you Jamaican? Your friends will expect you to say "fine" or "good," so shake things up by providing an unexpected answer. Hi! Discover what these funny, yet morbid, jokes about burial and death have in common in this hilarious piece about "Alive Jokes". By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. If corporate email language won't do it, nothing will. If you have nothing to add and to share with a person, this saves their day, too. 62. 86 Funny and Flirty Responses To 'How Are You Doing?' - Monk at 25 The hottest single of the year is me. You're the reason God created the middle finger. 9. This is a good response to throw out there. When they play it cool, play it ice cold. 41. Its because I always show up on dates with bottles of wine for myself. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital. Thats no excuse for treating someone like they dont exist, especially since 85% of participants said theyd rather be told upfront that someones not feeling it. More like, How I Met That Jerk I Quickly Forgot About. I always yawn when Im interested. To text, most of us need our thumbs. 13. You are living proof that manure can learn to walk and talk. So, how does average sound? To contact our editors please use our contact form. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. Unknown, "He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend . Should I consider that a marriage proposal from you? Cant complainI have tried, but no one listens. Siri, why am I still single? Save the high-quality PDF version on your device now. Be grateful if it happens in that order. David Gerrold (author), Self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt. WS Gilbert (dramatist), I bequeath my entire estate to my wife on the condition that she marries again. I know youre nobodys fool, but maybe youll be adopted someday. Ever wanted to be the wise-ass who always has a comeback for everything? Without your thumbs, its unlikely you will be able to text anyone. "My level of sarcasm has gotten to a point where I don't even know if I am kidding anymore.". 90 Sarcastic Quotes for Witty Comebacks Full of Sarcasm - Quote Ambition Maybe because I have a Ph.D. in impatience. So much better than most people. "Fine" is a boring conversation-killer. provided, of course, that he really is dead." Liked what you just read? Are you asking just to make yourself feel better? 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. 93. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. You don't want to give the same, bland answer all the time. If I had a tail, I'd wag it. Your response should depend on the rapport you share with the sender. It would be great if puppies would stay puppies forever. Finnish with this conversation! There is plenty of room. You should eat some of that makeup, so you can be pretty on the inside. I was gonna try #6 "Any finer I'd be China." Recognize the other person's boundaries, and try not to cross them. How Am I Still Alive #shorts #overwatch2 #overwatch - YouTube If you're really feeling them, you can give them one last chance to make up for their communication lag. Because Im awkward and ugly. 3 I'm Just Wondering How You Are For more information, please see our 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass! Well, Im married to our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. Now, I understand why some animals eat their young. . Let me introduce you to a man who wrote a comeback so good, he instantly won a date. If you're going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. When you show them how you're not affected by them at all, that's when your comedic skills become the best and make others laugh as well. Have you met food? Here are some funny, witty, snarky, smart, and sarcastic responses to some of those annoying everyday questions its hard to avoid: I couldnt possibly cover all of the annoying everyday questions that are probably chipping away at you, but here are some of the most popular: Related 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), Related 29+ Funny Responses to Compliments. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Some Funny Responses to Everyday Questions. You know when you go to meet some friends, or friends of your friends, or to a party or whatever, when you meet someone new, at some point people ask you: "SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?" And what I wanted to do in this thread is list the craziest answers that you can give, you know, shock people or create an extremely awkard moment. If they take several days to talk to you again, thats a sign that either they dont want to talk to you, or, they were so dirty that its taken them that song to shower. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Ever wondered: "What if I'm buried when I'm just in a coma?" I am the hurricane setting fire to the forests at night when no one else is alive or awake however you choose to see it and I live in my own flames sometimes burning too bright and too wild to make things last or handle myself or anyone else and so I run. I'm alive, whoa! Norman Wisdom (comedian), "I have lost friends, some by death, others through their sheer inability to cross the street." (Say it like he or she is complimenting you even though he or she is not.) The answer to this question has become so generic it feels like there is an auto-complete machine in our heads! What is the polite way for asking if someone is still alive? Stellar, great, fantastic but dead inside. As unlikely as this is, it might be wise to double-check. Shane from The L Word? I dont know. 76. If you're friendly and check in with each other here and there, reply but keep the conversation short. 47. If youre not going to say anything nice, then dont say anything at all! What if questions can help you form connections fast, but you don't want to rush or force it. There are nosy people everywhere! I dont feel that great, but look! Oftentimes, these people just cant help but stick their noses in things they actually have no business with.
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